Connecting In- & Out-Groups: When Generational Differences Lead to Exclusion

Generational differences at work are not just about how people communicate. They are also about belonging. When informal group dynamics form around shared interests, habits, or cultural touchpoints, it can be easy for others to feel excluded. While these moments may seem harmless, they can quietly create in-groups and out-groups that undermine trust, collaboration, and inclusion over time.

This video scenario explores how generational differences, especially around technology and social media, can make someone feel left out of workplace interactions. It reinforces an important lesson from Emtrain’s Inclusion Training Course: inclusion is not just about inviting others in, but also about respecting when someone does not want or need to participate in the same way.

Scenario Overview: A Breakroom Conversation Turns Exclusionary

The scene takes place in a lunch break room with three coworkers: Marie, David, and Todd. Marie and David, both younger employees, are animatedly talking about a viral social media post. They laugh, reference stories, and interact through their phones while preparing lunch.

Todd, an older coworker, enters the break room and sits down. He hears the laughter and asks what they are talking about. Marie and David try to explain the viral challenge and then begin asking Todd if he uses Instagram, Twitter, or other social media platforms.

Todd explains that he does not really use social media.

Instead of adjusting the conversation or respecting that preference, the tone shifts. David reacts with surprise and judgment, asking whether Todd even cares about what people are talking about. Marie jokes that Todd is “out of touch” and sarcastically asks whether he still sends telegrams. David laughs quietly.

Todd looks confused and freezes momentarily before asking, “Do I seem that old to you?” David attempts to push more content onto Todd by showing TikToks. Todd declines, stands up, leaves his lunch unfinished, and exits the room early.

What Each Person Is Doing

Marie and David appear to believe they are being lighthearted and inclusive by inviting Todd into the conversation. They ask whether he has social media and offer to show him content. On the surface, it may feel like an attempt to connect.

Todd, however, clearly communicates that social media is not something he engages with or enjoys. His responses indicate discomfort, not curiosity.

This is where the disconnect happens. Instead of adjusting their approach, Marie and David continue pushing their interests and begin making jokes that frame Todd as outdated or out of touch.

What Went Wrong

The issue in this scenario is not the conversation itself. Talking about social media, viral trends, or personal interests at work is not inappropriate on its own. The problem arises when:

• One person expresses a boundary or lack of interest
• That boundary is ignored
• Humor is used to single someone out
• Age-related assumptions are layered onto the interaction

Todd’s discomfort is visible. He freezes, questions how he is being perceived, and ultimately removes himself from the situation. This is a common response when someone feels embarrassed, excluded, or unsure how to respond without escalating tension.

While this behavior does not rise to harassment on its own, it does create exclusion and reinforces an in-group versus out-group dynamic.

Why In- & Out-Groups Matter

In-groups form when people bond over shared traits, experiences, or interests. Out-groups form when others feel different, less included, or subtly dismissed.

When generational differences become the dividing line, older employees may feel:

• Out of touch or undervalued
• Less confident speaking up
• Hesitant to collaborate or seek advice
• Disconnected from team culture

Over time, these feelings can erode trust and collaboration. People who feel excluded are less likely to contribute ideas, ask questions, or engage fully with their teams.

What Should Have Happened Instead

This situation could have shifted with small changes in awareness and empathy.

When Todd said he does not use social media, Marie or David could have responded with curiosity instead of judgment. For example:

• Asking about Todd’s interests
• Shifting the conversation to a neutral topic
• Respecting that not everyone connects the same way

Inclusion does not mean pulling everyone into the same activities. It means making space for different preferences without making anyone feel lesser for them.

Actionable Takeaways

For Employees

• Pay attention to verbal and nonverbal cues of discomfort
• Avoid jokes that single out age or generational differences
• Respect when someone opts out of a conversation or activity
• Be mindful of how humor can exclude rather than include

For Managers

• Watch for informal exclusion in shared spaces
• Reinforce respectful communication across generations
• Normalize different interests and connection styles
• Address patterns early before they affect collaboration

What We Teach in Inclusion Training

In Emtrain’s Inclusion Training Course, this lesson highlights how everyday interactions shape workplace culture. Inclusion is not just about policies or formal meetings. It is built through small moments of awareness, respect, and adaptability.

The course teaches teams how to recognize in-group and out-group dynamics, understand generational differences, and respond in ways that strengthen trust rather than division.

Inclusion Requires Awareness

Generational differences are a natural part of today’s workplace. When teams choose curiosity over judgment and respect over assumptions, they prevent small moments from becoming lasting divides.

True inclusion means recognizing that not everyone connects the same way—and making sure no one feels left out because of it.